Hurts to Say I Love You (Prod. Brad Massey)

from Young-Black-Ambitious by Top Billion

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about

I originally had the beat and the chorus for this song around the time I was recording my mixtape "Payin' Dues." This song didn't fit the concept of that mixtape though and more importantly: I didn't have the words to go with the beat. No inspiration. My current heartbreak motivated this song. No doubt, this is one of my favorite songs I've ever done.

Shoutout to my favorite producer/collaborator: Brad Massey.

lyrics

"Hurts to Say I Love You"

(Chorus)
And it hurts to say I love you,
It hurts to know I couldn't trust you,
Girl we coulda had it all coulda overcame the fall,
But for me you never came through,
And it hurts to say I love you,
It hurts to know I couldn't trust you,
Girl we coulda had it all coulda overcame the fall,
But that wish never came true

(Verse 1)
And it hurts my soul to say I'm stuck inside of my ways,
We'd pray for better days unfortunately they never came,
After all this time we shoulda saw the signs that things were about to fade,
But even with the fights and the lonely nights that truth we'd evade,
I'm thinkin' we were afraid to admit the facts we're doomed to collapse,
So many heinous acts done behind our back neither wanted to apologize for that,
And I feel sometimes feel sometimes got so mad I wanna kill sometimes,
Wish you didn't even keep it real sometimes tell me a lie to make me chill sometime,
These thoughts they plague my mind stirrin' all these emotions,
I'm inner conscious provokin' me to kick up even more commotion,
Both of our hearts are broken but I'm sure mine is the worse,
'Cause my scars they remain open while your woulds seem to heal first,
'Til I'm six feet in the dirt I'mma live my life with this pain,
'Cause you left me permanently hurt like I gotta walk with a cain,
Don't have pity on my shame don't shed tears save ya rain,
If you lookin' for the same I'mma sang

(Chorus)

(Verse 2)
And now I'm left to just wonder why cursed to live under troubled skies,
Forced to deal with the hurt and lies,
Reminiscing 'bout happy times tryna realize what turned the tides,
All this anger all these questions as a man I just force inside,
To let 'em out would destroy my pride that won't happen long as I'm alive,
So I'mma swallow that one (Pause) and keep my niggas around (Pause),
So I won't feel down 'cause I'm lonely when you're not found aww,
That truth hard not to admit it gotta let that one sneak in my lyrics,
Can't be ashamed if anyone hear it the realest raps come from when you do feel it,
When you're not here there's a hole in my spirit,
Tried to fill the void with wine and spirits,
That didn't work I popped a perc wasn't any perks just made me worse,
The weed was purp but I felt like dirt,
Smoked it all and thought about you earth,
I even went on a rebound search but the new pussy made me miss the first,
I miss you more than life itself these type of songs just write themselves,
But I know to peep game we're two people who've both changed,
So don't have pity on my shame don't shed tears save ya rain,
If you lookin' for the same I'mma sang

(Chorus)

credits

from Young-Black-Ambitious, released March 16, 2013

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about

Top Billion Miami, Florida

Born 9/14/90. From Monroe, LA. I started taking Rap seriously at 18. I rap about things that happen in my life and what I see going on in the world around me. I like making and releasing new songs because you can never have enough music. There's atleast one album you'll love here... guaranteed. ... more